Zero, Yuuki meet Edward and Bella
by OneDream123
Summary: Okay so the title is bad because I couldn't think of anything else? So this is pretty much my try at humor or whatever you would like to call it? Rated T for some language. Zero and Yuuki meet Edward and Bella when they hear a sound coming from the front gates of the school they go to investigate and they make a discovery, these are not ordinary vampires, what are they?


**Okay, so I don't know if this is a good story or not? xP I just randomly thought up this and I've been editing it a lot :P I think it sucks...but I guess I'll leave that up to the people who are going to read it... This is my second try at doing humor, and I'm sorry if the characters are out of character, but anyways...enjoy my failure :P or my story whatever you would like to call it...**

Yuuki had already finished her patrol around Cross Academy and went on a search for Zero. The leaves were beginning to fall from their branches and onto the earth below them. She walked her way around the school grounds, until she spotted a tall male figure with silver hair, she then charged towards the being and jumped onto his back.

Zero was alerted, he had no idea what the heck just jumped onto his back, until he took a side glance and noticed a very happy girl smiling widely at him.

"Ugh, what do you want, Yuuki?" He groaned tiredly and spoke in a unamused tone.

"I wanted to come see you, I have nothing else to do so I came looking for you." Yuuki was clinging to Zero like a monkey. Her legs were wrapped securely around his waist and her arms were wrapped around his shoulders, as her head was laying on one of his shoulders.

He gave another annoyed groan and crossed his arms. "Well, I am busy right now, Yu-" The both of them heard a rustling sound coming from the front gates.

"Did you hear that?" He asked her and she nodded. She slowly got off of his back and got her Artemis rod out if there was going to be a sudden danger behind the wall, or worse a Level E.

"Do you think it's a level E?" Yuuki questioned, as she moved closer to where the sound had come from when she felt a hand lightly grip her shoulder.

"I'm not sure, Level E vampires, don't usually come this far out. They usually stay secluded in abandoned places or dead end streets, places that nobody will set foot in." He cautiously stared beyond the gate.

"I'll go see, you stay here. I don't want you getting hurt." Zero began to walk a step forward before seeing Yuuki come in front of his sight once again.

"I am not a little kid anymore, Zero, and I'm sick and tired of people treating me like I'm helpless! I can fend for myself." She stated irritatedly while twirling the Artemis rod in her hand. She could sense the worry and stress behind his amethyst eyes, as she grabbed his hand and gently squeezed it.

"I just want to help you, that's all." He looked down at their hands then back up to face her.

"All you do is help me, but, there are times when I want to be there to help you...Your not always going to be able to protect yourself!" She was startled by his sudden change in voice, it wasn't angry he sounded more like he was sad and concerned.

"I know...I know...But, hey, instead of arguing about this how about we protect each other? Does that sound good?"

He mumbled words under his breath which she couldn't hear. "I'm sorry what was that?" She leaned closer to him and he just groaned again.

"Yes, that seems like a good idea..." He said in a more audible voice.

"Good! Now let's go." Yuuki had the Artemis rod gripped in her palms in a battle like pose, as Zero clutched the Bloody Rose firmly in his hand.

They both nodded at each other as the gate swung open and they pointed their weapons searching around for the certain sound.

"Stop! Don't shoot!" The voice said as two people who looked to be around their age stood up with their hands above their heads.

The two swiftly turned around and stood in a battle stance, while looking at the two suspicious beings.

"Who are you, and how did you get here? This is a private academy!" Zero said, in a serious voice, while pointing the gun at them. The male stood up with a girl who was hiding behind his back. The boy looked tall, he had bronze hair that looked like it was gelled upwards and his eyes were a yellow color. The girl was sticking very close to the boy, she had long dark brown hair, but you couldn't see her eyes because they were hidden behind a few strands of her long dark hair.

"We were just passing by and we got lost, could you possibly tell us where we are?"

Zero continued to point his gun at the two as Yuuki stayed close beside him. "What business do you have here? This is Cross Academy, you either have something to do here or you don't." She rolled her eyes at him and lowered his arm,

"It's okay, Zero, I don't think they mean any harm. Hi, I'm Yuuki and this is Zero. Where did you guys come from?" Zero just crossed his arms and didn't take his eyes off the couple. _'Something about them just doesn't feel right. Who knows they could be working for someone that could cause harm to the Academy, or Yuuki. No! I will not let that happen.' _

"Harmless or not, I don't trust them." The bronze haired boy gave a mischievous evil grin at Yuuki which both showed lust and hunger, as he eyed them both still within the shadows of the trees. Which were protecting them from the sunlight's rays. Zero noticed this and gave a low angry growl at him, which made Yuuki stare up at him with her eyebrow raised.

She turned her attention back to the couple and eyed them with a curious look. '_That guy is creeping me out a bit. His stare looks so..' _She didn't want to imagine what he was thinking and shook that thought out of her head.

"So what are your names?" The bronze haired boy gave a slight smile and put his hand out in front of him.

"I'm Edward Cullen, and this is Bella Swan. Nice to meet you." Zero crossed his arms and turned down his offer to shake his hand, Edward awkwardly retracted his hand and scratched the back of his head.

"Oh...ummm...hi...I'm bella... yeah... umm... hi." She shyly and nervously said, still hiding behind the bronze haired boy.

"Why don't you come out of the woods and into the sunlight, hmm?" Zero asked questioningly, but the two still stood where they were.

"Oh, but I insist." Yuuki looked from Zero to Edward there was something going on here, but she had no clue what it was.

"Fine then, but don't freak out when we do." They both looked at each other for a second then looked at the couple who was slowly walking out of the shade of the trees and into the sun lighted area.

The couple's skin began to glisten in the sun making it look like their skin was made of tiny diamonds.

"Y-your kidding me right?" Zero broke into fits of laughter and Yuuki was trying to hold in her laughter.

"Z-zero it's n-not f-funny!" She said in between holding in her urge to laugh, which came out as snorted laughs.

"Your l-laughing too. What did someone drop sparkles or something on you. Are you some type of fairy?" Yuuki couldn't hold it in any longer and clutched her stomach from laughing so much.

"Oh, whatever, and I've never seen you laugh before so much."

"Well, there is a start for everything isn't there." The couple gave evil glares at them, as they both coughed awkwardly regaining their composure and acting calm.

"We are vampires! We sparkle! Shouldn't all vampires do that!"

Zero face palmed his face and his eyes began to glow red staring at the two.

"If this is a sick joke, it isn't funny. Being a vampire isn't about sparking, that is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard anyone say." He was getting more and more agitated by the second as the couple got more angry.

"We are too vampires! How dare you disrespect us!" The dark haired girl lifted her head to finally reveal her eyes which were red, but not like Zero's and they were confused to see that she had no fangs

just two rows of teeth.

"I'm so...hungry..." Bella said as she charged at Yuuki trying to lung at her neck, but she only came in contact with the cold metal of Yuuki's weapon. '_What the hell are these people?' _She asked herself as she was holding back the girl with the Artemis rod.

"Yuuki!" Zero cried out, trying to get to her before the bronze haired boy charged at him, Zero turned around and punched him good in the face.

"Get off of me!" Yuuki kicked her in the stomach and she cringed backwards holding onto her stomach.

Yuuki panted tiredly as she turned around to see Zero and Edward fighting. _'Wait? What is he...doing? Oh Heck no!' _

Yuuki ran over towards Zero and slammed the metal rod right across the "vampire's" face, and grabbed him by his shirt. "You listen to me sparkly boy, or whatever you are! Does your girlfriend know that you just tried to kiss a guy? If I ever see you try that again...you won't want to see me angry."

The boy cringed in fear and curled up into a little ball shielding his face. "Don't kill me! I'm too pretty to die! I have too many fans! Take her instead, she's all mopy and emotionless all the time! It's a big misunderstanding.. I wasn't trying to kiss him I-" Bella was about to speak, before being shushed by Zero who held the Bloody Rose up to the so called vampire's head and beckoned Yuuki to come near him.

"I think I'll tell her the whole story, you sick pervert." He made a disgusted face at him then leaned close to Yuuki's ear whispering about everything that Edward had whispered into his ear, which was said rather quickly.

"Uh..huh? WHAT! He thought of me doing that...and THAT? He..did what with his what...oh my gosh...that's disgusting..."

"I know right...that sick little twisted pervert is going to get what's coming to him." Zero was about to pull the trigger when a mob of screaming fan girls came running with Team Edward shirt's only with books as their weapons.

"What the hell...?" Zero and Yuuki both turned around to see this and titled their heads to the side in confusion.

"Oh I remember now!" The girls were getting closer and closer to them each second that passed by.

"These people are from Twilight! Those are their fans." Zero gave an irritated groan, while hitting the fan girls away with only his hand sending them flying in different directions.

"Yuuki, don't tell me you actually read that crap?" She nodded sheepishly while swatting away random fan girls with the Artemis rod.

"I was interested okay! Sayori said it was good and I was curious...but I never really got into it! Sparkly vampires are a joke..." Just when they thought all the fan girls were gone, they heard a high pitched yelling voice sound off,

"TEAM JACOB! BITCH!"

They both turned around to see Yuuki's best friend wearing a Team Jacob shirt and a stick hitting Edward repeatedly with it.

Edward lay shakily on the ground clutching his face and mumbling words to himself,

"No my beautiful face! So much pain so much angst! Oh the-"

"Oh shut your trap!" She smacked him again and looked up to see two extremely shocked faces staring back at her.

"What?" She said, as she blew a strand of hair out of her face before looking down at her feet where Bella was gripping onto her.

"Don't kill him! Please, don't! Have mercy!" Edward evilly laughed and coughed violently on his side.

"I don't want you anymore, I want her she looks so much more interesting and tasty!" He licked his lips seductively and Yuuki made a gagging face at him.

"Well, you can't have her because she's mine!" Zero wrapped his arm around Yuuki's waist protectively and licked her neck. This was sorta normal for her so she didn't always freak out when he would do this, but by what he had just said sent a major amount of blood to rush to her cheeks and her body to shiver.

Sayori made a gag face and threw a twilight book at them, "Gah, gosh you guys get a room if your going to do stuff like that!" The book hit Zero in the face as he looked up from licking her neck and angrily said in a low voice,

"Who threw that?" Everyone pointed at Edward including Bella.

"Bella, why?" She angrily crossed her arms and huffed heavily walking up to him and smacking him straight across his face.

"Your jerk, you pervert, you impreganator! Oh and just to tell you when you were gone that night with Emmet to go hunting...guess what I was doing? That's right me and Jacob did it! That's right, it's public, oh and I'm going to get married to him since you clearly don't want me anymore!"

Zero was growing inpatient by the second walking over with the gun to his head,

"Can I just end his pathetic life here? I think he's pretty damaged enough. Plus, I'm sick of hearing of this twilight crap." Everyone nodded in agreement and Edward lay there on the ground weeping silently.

"Why! I love you! Please! Do-" The gun barrel clicked and he bursted into a million tiny crystals.

"What the heck, that isn't supposed to happen?!" A fan girl screamed behind them all and came charging at Zero before Yuuki stepped in front of her and blocked her path.

"Take one more step closer...and you don't wanna know what will happen." The fan girl ran away screaming for dear life and all of them sighed in relief.

"Gosh! That was a nightmare! That was worse than seeing Aidou singing." Yuuki couldn't help but laugh, the thought of Aidou singing made her want to laugh. _'If he was here, he would find that insulting but, it doesn't matter.' _

Sayori fan girled and jumped up and down with excitement, "What are you so happy about, Sayori?"

"My dream finally came true! Edward Cullen's dead!" She continued to scream gleefully as Zero and Yuuki slowly backed away and back into the school.

"So did you study for that English test?" Zero shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked alongside Yuuki.

"Oh, no I haven't at all." Zero rolled his eyes at her, _'Typical Yuuki.' _

"Well, why don't we go study right now?" He smirked at her before scooping her up in his arms and running off.

"Hey! Zero! Put me down!"

They had tried to block out the memory of what had just happened that day, Edward Cullen, the screaming fan girls, and an evil creepy Sayori, could their day get any weirder?

**So tell me? Was it good, bad? I need to know these things so I can become better as a writer... your reviews mean a lot to me. :) well bye now.  
**


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